Hindsight

I bought a new tent to take to Latitude today. Exciting :) it is red-ish and small. Aww. Getting pretty excited now. 

Today was my first day off in what seems like forever. It's been good, I sat in the sun and read Kerouac (90 pages to go), and ate fruit - which makes a change from all the chocolate and crisps I've been eating all week. So I feel sort of healthy. 

I got a Maglite as well, it's so cute and tiny ^^ 

I've calmed down a bit since yesterday. On a mostly unrelated subject, I'm starting to put things into perspective and trying to work out when I'm going to leave. I think I'll have to start dropping hints about America. It's weird, in so many ways I really don't want to leave, but I know it's time to move on, and that if I don't now, I'll probably just waste away a few more years of my life there without thinking twice about it. I think the memories of how awful it was during winter, and how stressful it's been the last couple of weeks are the things which are making me keep to what I said I'd do. 

I downloaded this game I used to have today - Bugdom - which they're now on the second version of, so it's a bit different to the one I used to play, but still pretty cool. I might buy the full version, as it's only $20, and then I can play alllll the levels :) 

After renting Pan's Labyrinth for the second time, I've nearly seen all of it. But the disc is quite badly scratched, and so my laptop keeps skipping giant chunks of it, so I stopped it 20 mins from the end. I could've left it as one of those films that I never know the ending of. Instead I bought it off Amazon for £5, as I have about 2 more days of the free next day postage thing, I thought I may as well take advantage of it. 

Words about Minus the Bear. Wow. From Seattle, as a fair few of the bands I'm listening to at the moment are. I rented a DVD called 'Burn to Shine' which is a load of people from Seattle each performing one song in a house which is afterwards demolished (including the Long Winters and Ben Gibbard = hence why I rented it). So I discovered Minus the Bear, who have amusing song titles such as "Hey, Wanna Throw Up?" and "Monkey!!! Knife!!! Fight!!!". Did I mention they're damn good? I got my hands on two of their albums - Highly Refined Pirates and Menos El Oso (which is Minus the Bear in Spanish, just so you know). Just Wow.

Talking of Wow, I'm making myself listen to Sigur Ros. Whilst I do kind of appreciate that they are good, I always find it hard to listen to them, so I am currently forcing myself because I'm seeing them at Latitude, and I'm actually quite enjoying it. So I downloaded their new album, and that will be listened to once I've got through all of Takk... and ( ), a feat which I have never yet achieved. 

The other day I worked out I have about 400 tracks on my iTunes that I've never listened to. I feel like I should make some kind of commitment to listen to them as well. 

I'm going to get back to reading Kerouac now. Maybe this week I'll finish it. I can only dream... it must've been about 6 weeks since I started reading it. That is slow going. 

bai.x. 

(picture uploading isn't working, and I can't be bothered to wait around)

Pioneer to the Falls

Exhausted. 

That's the only word to describe today. I think it's safe to say after working 8 days>day off>3 days>day off>6 days that I am close to exploding. My feet are in ultimate aching pain. 

And so the complaining will begin. I think I would've got through today much better had it not been for a certain self-important twat telling me that I should get a new job and that Open University isn't as good as going to real university and "bla bla bla I go to Oxford bla bla bla", well quite honestly, FUCK OFF Mr "I have academic work to do", FUCK RIGHT OFF. Sadly I didn't realise how much he'd annoyed me until after he left and I was finally free of his Oxford bullshit, otherwise I might've punched him. 

Rant over. 

That's really all I've got to write about today. I just don't have any energy to be writing anything more specific than how much ^ annoyed me. I can't believe a couple of days ago I thought he was okay. But he's really just one of those condescending upper class pricks. UGH.

bai.x.

Thanks for the Killer Game of Crisco Twister

So I'm not quite ready to go to sleep yet, even though it's nearly 9pm, and I'm tired, although surprisingly not as tired as I was yesterday. 

One more day and then I will have survived another week working too many days, and Graduation 2008. 

Currently listening to the lovely tones of Zach Rogue. Mmmm. But the title is a Minus the Bear song. Oh I said I'd write about them. But I don't really want to tonight. 

Anyway, back to this week. It's been very very very busy. I have been experiencing varying levels of stress, which generally seem to reach their extremes at about 4pm every afternoon, with the exception of Wednesday when it was 9:15am. I mean seriously, who calls a scrap guy and *forgets* to tell him that what he'd be taking away is actually chemical waste? I was angered. So that whole morning was a bit mental, what with gowns and hoods disappearing to other sides of Cambridge, too many appointments, not enough time etc. 

It's been alright though, like, when I look back on it, it genuinely could've been worse - I had Fi and Julian instead of annoying lazy retards, and... I didn't quit? I don't know, but I'm sure I've had worse days at work than the last few. 

Walking backwards and forwards to Snappy Snaps wasn't that fun though. It was okay, but it took extra energy, especially carrying 150 18x8 prints - thank God I don't have to do that again tomorrow. 

There hasn't been much in my week except for JET. Sleeping, eating, drinking. Went to GBK on Tuesday with peoples :) which was ace. Smem had copious amounts of shots, and I had Pimms. Mmm Pimms o'clock. The second part of the YumYum saga - aka Chrif saying "would you like a YumYum?" in a semi-Northern yobbish voice instead of the creepy high pitched one. 

Walked to Trumpington with Julian, and he fed the ducks chicken flavoured crisps. They weren't dead today when we walked past again, so I guess they must not mind eating their own kind. 

James and I finally decided to get rid of the out of date film we had on display - so we took one each, and I'm going to use my film camera for the first time in a couple of years and find out what over a year out of date film turns out like. It could be interesting. I've just got to buy some batteries for my camera and find some stuff to take pictures of. 

I got my Latitude ticket the other day :) well excited. Yes indeed. Oh dear, I've just realised James might kill me for having 2 Thursdays off in a row. Whoops. Never mind. 

I'm going to go now, read some Kerouac before I get too tired to. I'm in part 3 now, I think that pretty much constitutes as being on the home stretch. I WILL finish this book. 

bai.x.

Little Round Mirrors

Oh I'm so tired. It's been a few days. I took some great duck pictures on the way home, but I can't be bothered to get my camera out of my bag.

This is just to say hi and that I'm not dead. Hi. 

I think I'm going to bed in a minute. Who cares if it's 9:30. I certainly don't. 

I've discovered a couple of new bands (thanks Ben Gibbard) - Harvey Danger and Minus the Bear, potentially also The Can't See, but I have yet to listen to them properly. I'll talk more about it soon, probably on Sunday when I won't actually be working.

x

Shadows on the Wall

Thinking about starting a music blog. To separate things out and give more purpose to my odd occasional ramblings about various bands.

[edit] I did it. It's here. Now just to decide what to write. I think it would be better if I had other people on it as well.

Itsumo

Once again I am on the endless quest for new music to listen to. Yesterday I discovered Via Audio, who are very good. It's weird, one of their songs I am so sure I've heard before, but I can't place it - I think it must've been on the Indiefeed podcast I subscribe to. I really need to find a better podcast, nothing on there is particularly amazing anymore. 

I can't stop listening to Feeder's new album. I almost regret my previous negative comments about them. 

I really want some summer music. Last year Kate Walsh and Vanessa Carlton were my summer music, but I haven't listened to Kate Walsh in ages, and Vanessa Carlton is... less appealing for summer music this year. I guess that's what Latitude is for, so I can find lots of new music and be like *yay*

Talking of summer, I have found the most awesome dress, which I really really want, except for the small problem that it is in America. I know I could buy it, and that technically there isn't much stopping me, but I'm afraid I'll spent $60, get it and then either hate it, or find it doesn't fit me. Hoom. Maybe the internet will evolve enough one day so that you can virtually try on clothes. That would be cool. 

It's freakishly windy, 50mph gusts. At least it's sunny. Although I don't want to go outside if it's that windy. 

I'm feeling lazy. Yesterday I made the best brownies in the world, although I'm not sure if they're as good as Annette's. But they will be next time I make them, because I'm going to put fudge or chocolate chunks in as well.

Just so you know, Bush has 212 days left as president. I've got to read Private Eye today. It's weird how that now Obama has won the candidacy, everything has gone quiet about US elections. I suppose that's the way news works though. 

Last night I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the first time in forever. I'd forgotten how great it is. And for the first time I think I really got what it tries to say. I'd always known, but never really understood. Now I do. This morning I watched The Queen, which is also good, definitely deserving of the awards it won. When I first heard about it I expected it to be quite dull. So wrong. 

I think I'm getting back into films a bit more now. So maybe things will even back out between film and music, rather than it just being super music obsession. That said, I'm really disappointed with my lastfm charts for this week, I just haven't listened to enough music. 

I've got to finish listening to Pygmalion today, and I'm going to watch My Fair Lady for the first time ever this afternoon, because it's an adaptation of Pygmalion. Might as well make my study a bit more in depth. I realised on Friday that I should've handed in an assessment, I just felt so relieved that I didn't have to. Now I've just got to make sure I work fairly consistently so I can get the work for the next one done. I have 6 weeks for that though, so hopefully I'll be okay. 

I actually just considered for 10 seconds taking work to Latitude. What is wrong with me?!

Anyway, I need to get on with stuffs. Reading etc. Maybe at some point this week I will finally get around to finishing On the Road. 

Pictures are of sunset the other night and Trumpington Road yesterday morning. 

x

Scared Straight

I love the Long Winters. They make very good walking music, and have lovely artwork. John Roderick has a funny beard which makes me smile, and it makes me sad when I see pictures of him without it. So I'm looking forward to this new album of theirs. If only I was in America this summer, I could see one of their couple of gigs before they go into the studio. 

I saw two dead birds on the same stretch of path (outside the Perse) yesterday. A pigeon and a sparrow. Today they were gone. I wonder who moves dead birds and dead deer from Trumpington Road. I wouldn't like that job. 

(i definitely picked the right title, this song is awesome)

I got a passport form this morning. I had my photo taken at work. I stared at myself for a little while and wondered what I'd be thinking when I look at that picture in 10 years, about to turn 29 and having to accept that I'm getting older. I wonder where I'll be then. Somewhere else hopefully. 

I stared into people's cars, trying to work out what their lives were like as they drove past. This amounts to a 5 second judgement, where I basically managed to decide whether they had a family or not. I was trying to push myself outside of that one assumption, and ask myself other questions about these people driving past, who I'd probably never see again. It didn't really work. I saw couples driving past, and I wondered if they'd had affairs, and never told each other about it, whether they really loved each other, or were happy, or were just staying together for their child sitting in the back. 

I want to know these things. Not specifically, but outside of my own life, and the people I know, I wish it was easier to know what other people's lives are like, what they go home to, who they really are. They'll only ever be faces in crowds though. I'm not sure why that bothers me. 

It's like, I was watching this programme last night about where clothes are made in India, and the conditions workers live in, and how they still have child labour. Those things upset me. But I don't have a link in my brain where I walk into H&M and suddenly think of those children. Maybe if I did I'd never buy any clothes. Not that I buy so many nowadays. But I'll never know what those people's lives are like, how they survive. We can watch it on TV screens, but it never really exists. 

I just want more than a vague picture.

(one of my dad's - it looks better in focus)

Michigan

I am ill. And tired. Somehow my plans to sleep for half of today didn't really go to plan. 

I'm just about to go and try peanut butter veggie sausages on toast. This is going to be an adventure (I don't even know if we have bread...) - will report back soon.

.......

It's actually quite nice. Although I don't think I've ever choose to eat veggie sausages over meat ones. They're made of mycoprotein, whatever the hell that is.... ewww...I just looked it up on wikipedia, apparently it's a type of fungus, no wonder I don't really like it = same as mushrooms. 

I was wondering if people eat veggie sausages raw ever. I guess it's not like eating raw meat, although I can't imagine it'd be very nice. I still have 3 more of them, and I'm not sure what to do with them, because by themselves they taste gross, so I guess I might have to have another slice of peanut butter toast. David won't eat them, he asked me yesterday why I'd bought "fake sausages" 

......

Hai. 

I had a nap this afternoon, it was pretty ace. And I'm feeling better now. Ish. I was rudely awoken by a 0845 number calling me. I didn't answer. It's probably good that it did wake me up, otherwise I probably would've slept for about 4 hours instead of 1. 

Watched the Simpsons Movie, it's not really that good. I mean, it wasn't bad, but not particularly interesting/any different to watching a normal 25 min episode. 

In other news: I had my hair cut finally yesterday = happy :) and I bought Feeder's album (see, like I said I would). I've listened to it about 4 times now, and I can say it's definitely grown on me. It's nice listening to them again. And the artwork for the deluxe edition (the one I bought) is truly brilliant. I think my only genuine problem now with the album is this one song which begins with perhaps the worst opening line ever - "I had a dream, I had a vision, I fell into water, the water was deep" it just makes me cringe. But the rest of the song is good, so it sort of makes up for it. 

I've been completely saved with my OU work - my tutor says I don't have to do this assessment, so I think I won't, and then just go on to the next block. I'm quite relieved, it's one less thing to worry about at least. 

It's strangely windy today. 

Stay Tuned

I now really do understand why you're only meant to work 5 days a week. Currently on the 7th out of 8 days I am working straight, and am now at the point of wanting to cry (honestly) due to tiredness, bad eating patterns (I didn't have lunch until 3pm today), and rapidly worsening condition of skin (which is probably due to the previous two things). I'm just so exhausted, and can't wait until Wednesday, when I don't have to get up at 7am.

Also, excessive kneeling down and sticking photos together has caused me serious muscular pain in my thighs, which was made worse by my 4 miles of walking today, so + heat, by the time I got home = not happy. 

Surprisingly, there was so little to do today, except for occasional customers, for the first  day of our exhibition it was dead. D.E.A.D. Seriously. I felt more sorry for the people at the actual exhibition though, who had to basically spend the whole day putting order forms into paper bags. 

I don't want to cook tonight. I just want to go to sleep. It's really tempting to have a nap now, but I know then I'll wake up at 9pm and not be able to sleep for the rest of the night. Hmm. 

James lent me this Beck album. I'm going to listen to it soon, not really sure what to expect. But I liked the song did for Eternal Sunshine. But that was a cover, so I don't know what his own music will actually be like. 

Haircut tomorrow. Depending on how stressed I am will depend on how long I take to get my hair cut. Not that I don't feel an obligation to be as quick as possible because they might need me, but I'm just so exhausted I'm starting to not really give a shit. God knows what I would've been like if I'd had to work all this week as well. 

bai.x.

Picture is at the station on Friday.

Thule

It's Sunday, and things are beginning to take their toll. 

I don't want to go to sleep, but I'm tired and I have to wake up early again tomorrow morning.

*I only have to last til Wednesday* ... then what? 

These posts are so short and nothingy, but as I said last time, nothing's happened really. 

Oh, I got a nice email from the guy who I did that Dutch passport for ages ago, he said I was super, it so made my day. 

And today I was in the Regal with Fi and Julian and these weird drunk Cambridge guys came and started talking to us. They were such freaks, it was like "yeah, fuck off...please...." 

I love the Album Leaf, they are so night time music. I would stay up to listen to the whole album, but I know I shouldn't. 

This doesn't feel like a Sunday. Eventually the days merge into one another and it just becomes like one giant blob of work and sleep. Now I understand why John has his holiday as soon as all the craziness begins to die down, God knows I'll need a holiday after the next 2 weeks. *Latitude*

night.x.

P.S. lol

So Well

I've been working lots. I am stressed, and hungry. 

My skin is really bad. I look tired and horrible. I need the sun. 

Today I looked at Photobooth (which is also a great Death Cab song) for the first time since I got Leopard, and it has lots of new features, including the ability for me to make videos. So there I am. How exciting.

I don't really have much to write, because it's all really generic and boring work-related crap. I have been doing not much else. And my OU work is really suffering. 

That is all. 

x

No Quick Fix

"You've gotta mess it up, to see why you cry"

Mmm vitamin C. I'm really tired, just done lots of ironing, and I'm about to go to bed and read some Kerouac. I'm still dawdling through it at snail's pace. So I'll make this quick, and post tomorrow. 

Another sunny day. Although it randomly became really cold around 11 this morning. I had to go out to buy some decongestant... I don't think my hayfever has ever got to the point before where I've had to take decongestant. It worked. But I felt like shit for half the day, which really sucked. I hope it doesn't happen again tomorrow. It's just really unpleasant. 

Super busy at work as well, like non-stop all day - it got to almost midday and I realised I hadn't been on Facebook at all... shocking. The work experience girls were ill, and they were on Monday as well apparently, so I had a smaller person free day, but one of them might be there tomorrow. Je ne sais pas. I probably could've done with them actually as I spent most of the afternoon trying to do three things at once. With remarkable success actually. If I try that on Saturday, I'll probably just break everything. 

I keep listening to Jimmy Eat World. It's not that I don't like them, but that I think I have other better music I could probably listen to. I'm having a really indecisive music week though, and JEW is the only thing I can find that I will actually listen to without skipping after a track. However it does mean I have annoying lines like "crimson and clover, over and over" stuck in my head. Gah. The good thing is now that I've got Bleed American, I do actually recognise more of the songs they played when I saw them 3 months ago. I guess it's a bit late for that now...

I better get to sleep now. 

..................

Honestly, I am just about to start working. It's the final of The Apprentice tonight. I had forgotten about it, but now I'm pretty excited. 

I have bubblegum, and I'm blowing bubbles, except now half of it is kind of stuck to my face. Gah. It's really difficult to get off, and I don't know any bubblegum removal techniques. 

What was I going to write? 

So tired today. I seem to keep waking up in the middle of the night, and also the fact that my nose is blocked up (stupid hayfever) doesn't really help the sleeping situation. 

Work was okay, but went really slowly. One of the work experience girls turned up today. She was really nice, very talkative though. It was difficult because she really wanted to work, and there wasn't a lot for her to do, so in the end Chris took her to Emmanuel where he was doing some group photos. John's told me that he's going to "try and get me Sunday off" (as though it's not his decision) - not out of concern that I'm working 7 days, but because he wants me to work all week next week. Oh yay. I realised after I spoke to him that I have my hair appointment on Tuesday, which I made specifically because I knew I had Tuesday off. So he can just deal with the fact that I'm going to be gone for an hour that afternoon, there's no way I'm changing it, even if it means I have to work late. 

Half my family are now in France, I spoke to them this evening and apparently it's flooded and there are thunderstorms. Ha ha ha, that's what you get for going to France. 

I should really make a time plan for the next couple of weeks. I think I'm going to end up having to email my tutor to ask for an extension, because I just don't have the energy when I get home to do loads of work. Meh. 

I better get on to that now...

Bai

x

Robot

So much to write about. So little time. It's 12:30am, and I have to be up in 6 hours for work. So much for getting loads of sleep. 

I don't remember the last time I posted, and I can't be bothered to check, so I'll start with Sunday. 

It was that day once a year when I end up on my parents' friends' boat. With my parents friends, and their children. There are days like Sunday, when I think I could actually never have kids. Like this 6 year old girl was just attacking me with her Nintendo DS, and I mean like shoving it in my face and shouting at me and stuff. It really was quite violent, and I was pretty scared. Then she tried to rip my earring out, and licked my hand. I was sufficiently creeped out. I think I just attract weird children that want to jump on me and attack me. 

But the day had its good points. Drinking cider. Getting sunburnt (I know that's not normally on the "good" list, but it'll turn into tan, which is good). And just like, being on a boat. I was tired though, so tired. Despite the horrific experience I have just had with a Nintendo DS, I actually really want one. 

So. Today. Or in fact, yesterday, Monday. 

I had a very unproductive morning. I still haven't done any work. I went down to London around midday, and my sister was actually on time for once. 

We went down to Covent Garden into the amazing retro sweet shop :) it was awesome, but I didn't buy anything (as I got lots of pic n mix style sweets from Marie later). 

I went to H&M. I haven't bought clothes in a month. Or more. Probably more. So I spent £30. I know I shouldn't have. But I couldn't help it. In all fairness, one of them was a practical purchase, because I bought a bag, and I've been thinking about getting a new one for a while, and now I'll actually be able to find stuff in my bag rather than panicking I've lost my phone because it's hidden amongst random other things and is just far too small for it's own good anyway. 

What else happened? Potentially on the guest list for Death Cab in July. Wouldn't that just make my year. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much about the possibilities of meeting Chris Walla, and the rest of them of course... it's just so hard. Marie has really awesome work friends, they were just talking about getting backstage passes to Glasto and stuff and I was like "why aren't the people I work with this awesome?" ... maybe I'll steal her job. 

Zut Alors were really good. I was well impressed, so much so that Marie got their CD for me. I had to run off to catch the 10:15 train cos I wanted a lift home rather than getting in a scary taxi. Both journeys I got my ticket AND railcard checked, which was weird, because I've never had my railcard checked before, and the barriers were up at Cambridge, so it's not like anyone without a ticket could actually get through. Maybe National Express are just stepping up security though, who knows. 

I feel like this has been quite brief, but I haven't really been thinking enough to be specific about things. No doubt I will have more to write next time, as I'll be complaining about the fact that I'm working 7 days straight. Starting tomorrow. Oh it really is going to be superfun. I have a zillion photos, and not enough space or botherment to put them up, so if I don't take any pictures for the next few days, then the ones I've taken over the last couple of days will be the ones going up. Photos today are of swan and signet on the river *cute ^^*

My iPod had a bit of a spaz on the way home, it completely froze. Stupid Jimmy Eat World. I hope it never does that again, it really scared me, and I had to reset it. 

Oh well, nothing more to add. 

Bai.

x

Silent Cry

I downloaded Feeder's new album today, due out tomorrow. I will buy it, purely because it's Feeder. That said, it's nothing new or adventurous. In fact, I'm not really sure Feeder will ever do new or adventurous. It's no big departure from Comfort in Sound or Pushing the Senses, and even though it's not really like their earlier stuff, that's more a consequence of developing as a band rather than differently structured songs that sound.... different. I would never say I hated it, they're Feeder, this is what they do, fairly predictable pop rock songs, they were the first band I liked, and that's not going to change because their music never does. 

I might feel differently on a second listen, I don't know. I guess not every band can have a Narrow Stairs. It does bother me though that any of the songs on this album would probably fit into any of their previous albums with little difficulty. I think I can finally reconcile myself to sacrifice Feeder as my top artist on lastfm, if it happens. 

I'll update with proper stuff when I get back from London tomorrow night. 

x

Coast of Carolina

Afterning. 

Had a bit of a funny day. I'm in a kind of weird mood where I'm really smiley, and then really frowny. Smiley at the moment luckily. My hayfever has been really bad today, cos like a fool I forgot to take my tablets this morning, and now my eyes are all red and itchy and horrible. I hate being allergic to grass, it's a really inconvenient disease to have. Not really a disease. But you know what I mean. 

Work went superly quickly which was ace. I wasn't doing that much really, but then suddenly it was 1pm, and I was like "Zomg! Lunch!" and then it was 4:30pm and I was like "Shite! Must close shop!" So yeah. I bought another notebook today. I should really be kept away from places like Paperchase, but it is going to be put to good use (i.e. for finished lyrics and stuff) so... it was almost kind of worth the £4.75 it cost. I'm still trying to convince myself it was. 

I finally made an appointment to have my hair cut :) although not for another week and a half (damn work), but soon enough I'll have short hair again and it'll be great = less fringe!

I've been listening to this. I do love him. And another product of today is this. Maybe I'll go and live in Portland and then I can do that. It's all pretty lovely. I've been listening to so much music this week - listened to British Sea Power's 'Do You Like Rock Music?' this afternoon, which was good. Well it sounded good, but I had it on quite quiet because I was at work. I'll listen to it again this evening and make the executive decision. One way or another I will be seeing them at Latitude, which is now SOLD OUT :o ! Well, the weekend tickets are anyway. 

Ahh my eyes are really beginning to heal. This means I can do some work soon. *Yay*. Ooh. Bit cold. 

Talking of cold, picture today is of an icicle I saw in the freezer at work and decided to take a photo of. I know it's weird to take a picture of ice in a freezer, but I don't really care. It was worth it. (Mostly because I missed the ducklings again today). 

English weather is so fucked up. 2 days ago it was pouring with rain, and now it's really hot and humid. I need to get some sun cream or some such product to protect me on my walks. 

I'd thought of other stuff to write earlier, and I was going to write some of this at work, but I didn't and now I've forgotten what I was going to say. Oh well, I'll reserve it for some other time. If I remember. 

Tomorrow is my last day of actual freedom for a while. Sunday and Monday don't count cos I have to do stuff. Ooh America decision making on Monday. How exciting. 

Bai

x

Keep Your Eyes Ahead

Hi

I'm currently trying to do some recording. It doesn't really work, my room is a messy confusion of wires and stuff, and I'm really not cut out for this sort of stuff. Luckily it's just a test to see potentially how much I'm going to screw up the rest of the songs I write. I have realised that I a) have no sense of time, beat, or any kind of rhythm that would keep this from going horribly wrong and b) I can't write keyboard parts that don't sound horrendously bad when mixed with guitar and vocals. Sounds okay with just the guitar, not with the vocals. 

But with any luck, everything will be okay, I'll learn stuff over the next couple of months, and David is going to try and borrow a 4-track off his friend, so that'll probably be easier than me running everything straight into GarageBand through my condenser mic. I say that. But I don't really know if it will be easier or not. 

Part of the reason I suddenly decided to try recording was because I got out my amp. I haven't played through an amp for God knows how long... it was just packed away in its box in one of my drawers. I guess that's the problem with having an electro-acoustic, you just think (well I did) that it sounds fine without the electro part. I have discovered this afternoon though, that it does actually sound better with amp. So maybe I won't pack it away again just yet. It's also louder, and I think I'm going to have to start re-training my voice, because I can't hear myself sing over it (and it's not even that loud, I just can't project). 

I have a black splodge on my finger, which randomly appeared, I touched something on my chair, so I think it must be oil or something. I'm still wearing my headphones. Maybe I should take them out, cos I keep getting deafened every time someone signs into MSN. 

I discovered, or in fact, rediscovered the Helio Sequence last night. They are Awesome. Yes, they deserve a capital A. This is another band which have come to me thanks to this Sub Pop CD I bought. Love Sub Pop. Although, both the Helio Sequence and Rogue Wave are not with Sub Pop any more. In fact the only band I actually know that are on Sub Pop (I'm sure there are many others and I'm just not paying attention) are the Shins. Maybe that says something about Sub Pop, I don't know. Oh, Postal Service, they released their album on Sub Pop as well I think. Enough about Sub Pop though. I've written their name 6 times. Maybe I should link it to their website...

Done. And I totally take back what I just said, because I've just looked at their artist list and amongst others they have the Go! Team and CSS, so yeah. I've sort of fallen in love with North West America. Seattle, Portland. All the bands I'm listening to a lot at the moment seem to come from there. Death Cab, Long Winters, Chris Walla, the Helio Sequence. Oh I'm sure there are many more. I just can't be bothered to name them. I've been looking at pictures of the Seattle skyline, and it is amazing. I can't wait to go there. Portland looks pretty amazing too. 

I can't believe how much I've just written about, well, not a lot really. I have pins & needles. 

In other news: whilst my OU work was going amazingly well yesterday, I have now failed to be productive. I'm going to try and start the History of Science stuff this afternoon, but I can't really be arsed, especially now I'm going to have to put my room back the way it was. I'm really hungry. But I haven't had lunch, so that does make sense. 

I've been listening to this today. Ben Gibbard makes me laugh so much, and even though it's that song, it's so worth listening to just for his speech about it at the end "I'm not gonna take off these preppy clothes, I fucking like them" lolz. 

Oh well, I guess I better start tidying up the mess I've made (of my room and the song). Somewhere at some point I'm going to need someone to dictate to me what sounds good and what I'm completely fucking up. I need Chris Walla. 

x

P.S. I love clouds

P.P.S. I now hate the Co-op cos their internet banking is shite. It just won't load and keeps rejecting my details. Gah! I think I'm going to have to phone them cos I set it up yesterday and the woman said it would be up and running in 5 minutes. Bull.Shit. 

10:1

Sunday afternoon. Still avoiding work. Thought I'd start a new post as I've already done one today. Couple of things to write about, and then I'll leave it for later. 

I want to name this album Emergency Above right now. I know it'll change as I actually write more of it, but I just like those words. I guess it would be a bit of obvious stealing from Matthew Caws though. But it's not like the song is named that, it's just the first two words of the song, so maybe I could get away with it. I suppose it'll end up being named Constellation or something completely different though, so I may as well forget the Emergency Above thing. 

I'd forgotten how happy Nada Surf make me. I didn't listen to them much last week (around 20 plays does constitute as "not much" - honest...) and I'm just having a Nada Surf-athon now, and it's just awesome, I listened to the whole of Let Go a couple of hours ago and it was just like *constant smiling*. I love them so. 

The freaky dreams have stopped. I meant to mention that before, but forgot. 

And also, I changed the No Sunlight link >>>> 

I'd done a post which ended up not actually being posted, where I'd written about changing it, forgotten that I hadn't posted it, and I was going to change it again today, but decided not to. I'll leave it a while longer. It is a good link. Lol. 

I really need to do some work. I actually need my laptop taking away from me, because I'm just not doing any work, and it's affecting my Jack Kerouac reading time as well, and I don't want that. I make it sound like I'm being forced to go on the internet. Well, I kind of am.... ish. 

Looking back over this blog since it started, I've realised my posts are increasing quite a bit in length. Insania. And I've realised that this blog will actually be worthwhile when I go to America, because then I can tell everyone about my trip and it'll be exciting. More exciting than the everyday crap I write about now at least. 

...........

Tuesday. The weather is horrible. It's nasty drizzly rain. Proper rain is okay, but it's not really proper rain, it's just horrible. Luckily I haven't had to go outside today :) 

It's weird, I keep thinking I have to go to work tomorrow, and I don't, which is ace. And I've actually been doing OU work today!! Woo! 

This may be because it's now really important that I do work this week - next week I am working 7 days in a row. I know that technically this is illegal or whatever, but as I've volunteered, it's technically not. And I wouldn't have to be working 7 days if I didn't have to have Monday off. But it makes me feel sort of vaguely valued at work. All I have to do is make sure I get LOADS of sleep so I don't end up going insane and then have John shouting angrily at me because I keep failing. 

Today I rearranged my CDs into order of date released. I know that's a really sad thing to do, but it was quite fun. I think I'll put them back in alphabetical order tomorrow. I put them in colour order once, but that didn't really work out as about half of my CDs have either black or white spines. Hmph. I should think of another way to arrange them. I really want to have them in order of when I got them, but I have no idea when I got a lot of them, or at least I can't be specific enough to make it worth while. I feel like a geek now...

So, also today, I have been learning more about Hinduism. It's a really interesting, but confusing religion, like people just worship pretty much however they want to, and they all worship different gods, and they're split into social castes (which doesn't sound so fun) so it's really hierarchical, yet they have no actual central authority or authority figure. I like that they all worship all these different gods, but they see each god as a different aspect of one supreme being. And they're probably the only 'religion' to say that their God is the God of other religions too. I don't think I've heard any priest say that our God is anyone else's God. But I guess that's the nature of religion. It's interesting to be looking at religion from a different perspective. 

No pictures today, because it's just raining, and stuff. I've set up my savings account! Hurrah! So I'll get more money :)

On Monday I'm going to have a long discussion with my sister about America. I'm excited. We're considering going to Coachella, providing we're in LA at the right time. I just hope the line up is as good as it was this year. Rogue Wave. Death Cab. Hahaha. When it gets nearer the time we'll probably find ourselves planning around gigs we want to go to a bit. Providing good people are still touring at that time. I'm really hoping Death Cab will still be touring, and as their tours tend to last a really long time, it's entirely possible ^^

x

Pity and Fear

I just hit 30,000. That's a year and 7 months of music listening. Holy shit a bird just flew into my window. I think it's okay. I wish they'd stop doing that. Once a pigeon flew into my window and left a proper bird-shaped mark. Must've been a greasy pigeon. 

What I was going to say before the bird hit the window, was that 30,000 is pretty cool. I wish I had counters for other things, like how many times I've said 'fuck' in the last year and a half, or similar things to that. It would be pretty cool if someone could invent something like that. But then it might be kind of like Big Brother (1984 not the horrible TV programme which starts again next week) and everything we do throughout our lives would be monitored. Still, it would be cool if when we die we got a sort of "you listened to this much music, walked this many miles, spent this many hours on the internet..." etc etc. To be honest, if I was told how many hours I'd spent on the internet, I'd be like "oh, fuck, can I have that time back please?" seeing as it'll probably equate to about a year of my life, if not more, depending on when I die. 

Okay, so I went off on a bit of a tangent, but I'll get back to... whatever I was going to write about. Which was nothing. For work purposes I have decided today that the morning actually ends at 1pm. This allows me to be doing this right now, because once I'm done I'll still hopefully have an hour left to do the work I said I'd do this morning. Oh, such genius. And I did decide that last night, not this morning because I am being lazy. 

This week is going to be a bank-related week. In that, I have to get a savings account. I told my mum last week that all my money is in my current account, and she freaked out a bit. Turns out you're not meant to do that, because you don't get any interest. I was never told, we didn't get taught stuff like that at school, therefore it is not my fault. So yes, another Co-op account, and I'll be getting rid of my Cambridge Building Society one, seeing as it'll be useless as soon as I move out of Cambridgeshire. Which hopefully won't be too many years away. 

I'm thinking about America. Reading On the Road. Wanting to go there. The more I think about it, the more afraid I get of leaving my job. At least I have some kind of job security. As soon as I leave, there's nothing really safe or permanent about my life. Maybe things are better that way, I do not know, I haven't tried. I was titled "wedding co-ordinator" and "art director" at work yesterday. Which is a giant lie. I said to James "can I put it on my CV" and he said "yes" but it's a lie, so I won't. Like in Friends when Joey's CV says he can speak French. 

I'm hungry. It's actually midday now. But I've got to finish this work before I can eat. The consequences of moving the morning into the afternoon. 

There's another picture of the geese I saw at the farm shop the other day. I was going to take a picture of the apples growing on the tree outside my window, but I can't be bothered. Maybe another day. I was also going to take pictures of ducklings yesterday, but again, I couldn't be bothered to stop walking, although they were cute, and if I see them again and I'm not in too much of a hurry, I will stop and take a picture. 

Also, today is 1st June. Hurrah! There aren't any pantomimes in June. Lol. 

I better be off, work to do etc. I just have to read/make notes on 4 pages, but that length of stuff has been known to take me more than a day...

x