Personal

"But heavy is the cost...I guess it wasn't meant to be, wasn't meant to be"

It was always going to end anyway. 

Imaginary Friends

I know I've been neglectful recently, not much has been happening though.

Earlier I went to post a DVD back. I wore my old coat because sometimes I miss it, but as I put it on I realised I prefer having a black coat to a murky green one. Anyway, I was walking to the post box, and my next door neighbour comes out of her house ahead of me, so I 

have to walk extra slow so I don't reach the post box at the same time as her - she's kind of scary, although I'm pretty sure she wouldn't recognise me unless she saw me coming out of my house - I felt really creepy though, cos I followed her there and back - obviously it wasn't my fault that our destination was the same, but still. I sped up after she walked back into her driveway hoping she wouldn't see me. 

After writing that I realise it was a bit of a non-event, but this is how little I have to write. 

Yesterday I walked to and from work (only to Trumpington) - which basically equated to 4 miles and a blister. I came across two dead baby deer on my way to work, both lying on the verge, one by Long Road and one near Brooklands. I realised that if I walk every morning I will have to watch them decompose, which is quite disturbing. 

I've been trying to work harder recently, so I timetabled all the work I need to do into my Google calendar, which has been working well until the last couple of days... I guess I just can't be consistent and eventually end up giving up, which is a bit of a fail. 

I've started sticking lyrics on my wall as well - lines like "emergency above" and suchlike. It's nice to have them up, because they're the lines from the great songs I always get stuck in my head. Talking of music, I've pre-ordered my copy of Narrow Stairs from HMV! Just 2 more weeks! And this time next week I'll be seeing them, and hopefully have a chance to hear some of the new stuff. How exciting ^^ 

Pictures today, not to state the obvious too much are, a rainbow, and blossom, both taken from my bedroom window. I like spring, it's pretty. Although it's raining and horrible at the moment, which isn't so pretty. 

Not much else to report. I will try to keep updating, and with any luck I'll have much more to write next week when I've been to lots of amazing gigs *yay!* :D

x

What Sarah Said

Good evening.

Been a while, I guess. I've been to Sheffield and back. It was great, perhaps except for the travelling. But I went to Offbeat and saw Elbow and it was well fun ^^ especially seeing Fi and Julian. The field is super, unlike the bridge. 

It's strange now having two days off when I have nothing to do... well, except do OU work, but I have nothing else planned so I can just sit at home. It's nice. I wish I had more time like this. Unfortunately I've realised that in just over a month my part-time working is coming up for review. This means I will most likely have to start working full time again. I've really liked this last month, not having to worry so much about when I'll get everything done (not that I'm still working as hard as I should be, but I know if I need to, I have time to). I've been weightless. And the weights are just going to drop straight back onto me. I guess I have 5 weeks to get myself into a better routine so I can manage work and work. I was thinking, I can't understand how people do other stuff, you know, have actual commitments. I couldn't do that, I don't know if it's cos I'm lazy or because I'm good at wasting my time doing other generally pointless things. Is it sad that my life outside of work generally revolves around internet and TV? Yes... I suppose it must be. Don't think I'd have it any other way though. What else would I do? I can't even commit myself to going to my tutorials for OU. 

Oh well. I better not keep going down that road of thought otherwise it'll become depressing. So yeah, I've been working and stuff. I'm still tired. 

It was the last episode of Skins last night. It was really sad. It always is when things come to an end. I'm trying to remember how I felt last year knowing everything was coming to an end, that everyone was leaving. It's all blurred, there's nothing defining, so whilst I have recollections of hating the thought of my friends going away, it's not a solid memory of anything. 8 months ago seems such a long time. I could've been someone else. 

I wish I could write more. It seems the last 8-10 months have sucked it out of me. I used to write prolifically, and now, I'm lucky if I write 2 songs a month. Everything in my head used to be things I could make into lyrics, now it's just other people's lyrics. 

I was reading an article by Ben Gibbard this afternoon. It's strange how real people can become, when they're normally just a voice singing a song. Anyway, he said this, which sort of resonated with me: 

"An ex-girlfriend once got upset when I told her that music is the most important thing in my life. It's more important than anyone else could ever be. I don't want to be overly dramatic and say it's the only thing that gets me up and keeps me going. But people in your life come and go. As you go through your life, you make friendships, you break friendships, you have relationships. Music is the one thing I've always been able to rely on. So why wouldn't it be the most important thing in my life?"

I guess he's right. 

I'll put photos up and be cheerful tomorrow. Right now I have 2 minutes until CSI (more meaningless wastes of time) and I have two final questions.

Does everything have a definite end? If you say something has to end at a certain point, does it mean it can't end any other way, and if it ended a different way, are you just leaving yourself open to a repeat of events?

21:00

"love is watching someone die. so who's going to watch you die?"

I Like What You Say

"Emergency above, put on your hard hats and invisible gloves, what's going on? I was on the wagon, I thought I was done. You have to watch out, when one falls in, another can't get out.

They say you have to have somebody, they say you have to be someone's, they say if you're not lonely alone, boy there is something wrong with you."

Hello.

So I'm avoiding doing the second part of my assessment, which I'm well aware is due in tomorrow. I'm going to try and finish it on the train if I fail tonight/tomorrow morning, which is likely. 

Today I went to see Lars and the Real Girl with David. It was so good. Like super good. It was really funny and sweet. He gave a teddy bear CPR and it was just like *aaawwwh* ^^ 

We wandered around town doing not a lot. At the bus stop there were some weird little girls who kept saying stuff to us...well, I'm not sure if it was directed at us, but one of them said something like "nice shoes" and I was like...uhh...yeah...fuck off. 

Went into work for a bit to finish something off today, it's always strange being there when it's your day off, kind of like you're an invading customers instead of an employee. But yeah. There you go. 

What else? Not much really. Picture is evidence of spring from my window. Lyrics at beginning are Nada Surf. 

Oh, yes. I am going to Sheffield tomorrow :D *excitement* twill be good. And I can take lots of photos which is like yay! 

The gay part is that for some stupid reason the train from Ely to Cambridge on Sunday is going to take 45mins when it normally takes 15. I hate them doing work on the railway and slowing down my journey :(

I'm going to do some work now...

x

A Postcard to Nina

I should really be working, but I feel bad that I haven't written in a week, so quick update of nothingness. 

I've been doing a lot of work (duh), and not much else. Sort of drifting from work to home and trying to concentrate on the Colosseum and Wembley stadium...yes. Studying the Colosseum just makes me want to go to Rome more, which is a bit gay, because I can't really go there... not for a while at least. 

I got tickets to Death Cab. Week of dreams is complete. Well, unless any Michelle Branch or Feeder gigs turn up during that week as well, which, unfortunately is quite unlikely. 

Amusing thing of the week. Well, one of them at least: went to the park&ride yesterday, there was a sign up which said "Please use the ashtrays provided" and someone had written above it "Once the floor is full". It made me laugh. Not that I approve of litter, but it was quite witty. 

The other funny thing is the cover of Private Eye this week: the Queen opening Terminal 5 at Heathrow, and so she's there with 2 guys - the first one says "And this is where we lose the bags Ma'am..." and the second one says "...and this is where we cancel all the flights." - Queen says: "How very interesting!" = truly lolworthy. 

Not much else to report. When I am less busy this will become proper again with photos and shiz. 

Bai 

x

Leaders of the Free World

Been a while. Not that I've been doing much since Wednesday. 

Thursday I went to work as usual, then met Chris (after slight confusion with 

my phone cutting out and him trying to contact me and me having to phone people to get his number so I could phone him from work). Anyway, we wandered around and ended up going to Sainsburys, buying cookies and yumyums, and then sitting on Jesus Green whilst Chrif talked in a strange accent about attacking runners and commenting on which ones actually needed to run and which ones didn't. Then we had an argument about whether Rain 

Man actually exists or not. It was quite amusing. 

Friday... I actually have very little recollection of. I don't know why. I can only come to the conclusion that I didn't do anything. Therefore I did not. 

Saturday was far too eventful. It was a degree day at work, which meant lots of students coming in and having their photos taken which made me very busy. Crazy day. After work I met David and Smem and we drove to Tesco to get food for Jon's and stuff for LOTR night. I got lost looking for plastic cutlery and had to phone Smem who had managed to find it. 

Plastic cutlery = for Chinese food, which we got from Maido House on the way back into town. It was great. I love Maido House, they do the best chow mein ever. We sat in Cherry Hinton Hall and ate it, but it was really cold and windy so we decided to go back to the car and finish it there. 

I had the first line of "We are all accelerated readers" by LC! stuck in my head, whic

h is "I was sick in my mouth"... which was kind of unfortunate, especially as I couldn't stop singing it. 

We drove back into town, dropped David near Castle Hill and then went to Jon's. When we got there, Jon wasn't. His brother answered the door and told us Jon had gone to pick up Pete from town, who was seemingly incapable of catching a bus... so we stood awkwardly around in his kitchen, then Sigurd arrived and we stood awkwardly in the kitchen still. Eventually Jon and other people began to appear, and it was okay. By the time everyone had actually turned up though it was almost time for me and Smem to go off to our uber-geeky LOTR all-nighter. 

It took ages to find somewhere to park, but we got there eventually. Failingly, I didn't manage to stay awake through all of it. I missed a few minutes of FOTR, a bit more of TTT and quite a lot of ROTK... it was accidental, I never would've slept through ROTK if I hadn't been awake for 24hrs already. Oh well. We got out at about 9:45 and went home. I was very tired, but managed to hold off sleeping until about 2:30, at which point I managed to sleep for 4 hours despite being woken up by my mum half way through. It was a mistake as I couldn't get to sleep until after midnight that night. 

Yesterday. I slept for half the morning and then went into town and met David. We walked down to the river. I saw a robin. It was cool. Then we walked back over a bridge, and saw a duck being raped. You might be able to see it in the photo, it's on the right. It was quite disturbing, as there were children also witnessing this violent act of duck rape. Poor duck. Then we walked across grass which had actually turned into a marsh, so my shoes and socks got wet :( hmph. 

But I got peppermint tea *yay* and then bought the Timewaster Diaries, which is quite funny and a sort of sequel to the Timewaster Letters which James was reading a while ago and was amusing. David left. He's going to NYC tomorrow and I'm not going to see him ferr aaaages. 

I went to H&M after that and bought a dress and a skirt and some trousers. Therefore I am happy. 

Skins was really sad last night. It made me feel traumatised. I don't want Chris to die. :(

Today I did work and stuff. I woke up really late, and now that it gets dark later I keep getting confused about the time :s

Pictures today: Jesus Lock on Thursday, Smem being emo at Jon's, duck being raped. 

I don't know how much I'll update in the next week or so, not much interesting is happening until I go to Sheffield now. 

Adieu

x