Not Sick

Tokyo Police Club. Lots of Tokyo Police Club.

A week behind on IJ - but it's all good, cos I've got the next 2 days off, and I'm going to read like crazy, whilst also seeing Twilight and going on a zoo/picnic outing. Because having plans is the best way to kill boredom. FACT.

I am tired a lot. In the last week I have seen Inception twice, and seen Tokyo Police Club. Now I can't stop listening to them because their new album is aweesomeee. And I love Joseph Gordon Levitt more than I did after I watched 500 Days of Summer. He is super cool as Arthur. And Inception is seriously good, one of the best films I've seen in a while (good enough to see twice even though I find it difficult to sit in one place for 2.5 hours).

Who knows, maybe all that film watching will improve my concentration for reading. I'm not progressing as quickly as I'd hoped with my pile of books, because I start to concentrate on whatever my other book is (currently Remains of the Day) and then abandon IJ, and vice versa, so it all gets a bit slow unless I make a special effort to give them equal time (which is easier said than done, not least because IJ weighs about 5 times more than most of the other books in my pile, so carrying it around is in itself an effort).

In 3 weeks I will be in Berlin. I'm excited. Need a holiday, then I can be less tired all the time.

My blackbird hasn't run off yet. It seems to be tolerating the amount of noise I make quite well. Although maybe that's because I'm only making noise for a couple of hours a day. It's still pretty vigilant though, watching me all the time. I have no idea how long it takes for a blackbird egg to hatch, but I hope less than 3 weeks, because I don't want to miss it when I'm in Berlin. Maybe I should get a webcam and have a live video feed so I can watch it all back. Except it would be spectacularly boring for the most part, 216 hours of a bird sitting on a nest.

bai.x.

"get comfortable, get unfrustrated"

Trying

Okay. So I've become neglectful again. Always neglectful. I post stuff on tumblr, and then I forget about this, if I even have time to write at all.

Anyway, I have a massive pile of books that I'm reading this summer - including a second attempt at Infinite Jest. To save time, here's some posts from tumblr:

THE LIST

Hanif Kureishi - Intimacy

Yann Martel - The Facts Behind The Helsinki Roccamatios

Don Delillo - Cosmopolis

Haruki Murakami - Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman

David Foster Wallace - Infinite Jest

Don Delillo - Great Jones Street

Aldous Huxley - Brave New World

Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad

David Mitchell - Cloud Atlas

Andrew Marr - A History of Modern Britain

Irvine Welsh - Trainspotting

Michael Ondaatje - The English Patient

James Ellroy - L.A. Confidential

Bill Bryson - A Short History of Nearly Everything

Alice Sebold - The Almost Moon

Barack Obama - The Audacity of Hope

Barack Obama - Dreams from my Father

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - The Thing Around Your Neck

Leo Tolstoy - Anna Karenina

Philip Pullman - Tiger in the Well

Haruki Murakami - Kafka on the Shore

Helen Oyeyemi - The Icarus Girl

James Frey - A Million Little Pieces

Simon Schama - History of Britain 2 and 3

Simon Schama - The American Future - A History.

Kazuo Ishiguro - The Remains of the Day

Hanif Kureishi - Something to Tell You

A couple of additions ^ but I’m 3 books down, so progressing well. Started Infinite Jest a few days ago. Enjoying it way more than I remember last year. Currently on track with the “Infinite Summer” schedule. Looking at all my notes and underlinings from last year helps the story make sense. I like the mention of Toblerone in various characters’ storylines.

Starting Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman today.

Just about to go to work and start day 6 out of 9. I swear even though it’s 25 degrees outside, it’s at least 30 in the shop, because we have no ventilation and massive lights that are more effective as heaters than lights.

....

Adding another book to what is beginning to seem like a never-ending list - I’ve just bought Don Delillo’s ‘Underworld’ - another almost 1000 page long novel, which I won’t be starting until I’ve finished Infinite Jest. Reading 2 huge books at the same time is a bit much.

After 9 days of working in an uncomfortably hot shop, I have 2 days off. I don’t really know what to do with myself. Earlier I started reading my textbook for the next course I’m doing (which doesn’t start until October) because I felt like I should be working. My intentions for tomorrow are to continue sitting outside and read Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman and Infinite Jest.

I think I realised why I’m enjoying IJ so much more this time around. It’s because I’m not analysing it as I’m reading it, trying to work out what’s going to happen, trying to make sense of the characters and how they’ll all eventually interlink. It is what it is. I’m currently around where I gave up last time, but I’m definitely not giving up this time.

....

I've been doing a lot of Berlin planning, bought a guide book (it seems as though my life is all books right now), trying to find places to eat and go to to fill up our 8 days there. Found somewhere to hire bikes from which would be pretty ace. Now just hoping for good weather.

I might start documenting properly all this reading. I can't remember if I wrote it on here, but last October I made a list of things I wanted to achieve in the next 12 months. Small, trivial things generally. One of them was that I wanted to read 40 books. I think now, looking at my summer reading aim, it'll probably be achievable, so I might as well say something about it.

Even though I love books I never spend enough time reading. I read half a book and then give up, or try to read 3 books at once and fail on all front. I rarely read a book twice. Even 1984, which is one of my favourite books, I can't claim to have read fully more than twice. I'm sure when I was younger I read far more, but now I have a shorter attention span, and it's become more difficult to sit for more than 15 minutes and read. I am easily distracted. According to the list I've made, since October I've read 16 books. So in the next 3 and a half months, I have to read 24.

Now I feel like I should be reading instead of writing. I'll go and do that. But I will update again soon. Even if it's only what I'm posting on tumblr. Well, I'll try and vary it at least a little.

bai.x.

Re:Stacks

Almost a week ago i drove across hertfordshire, and ended up outside my grandparents house, except it had been knocked down and replaced. My heart broke.

Tonight i saw a friend i haven't seen for months and everything was perfect.

Sometimes renewed things are better.

Body in a Box

Multiple good days are awesome. I'd forgotten how it felt to have a job I actually enjoy. And the shiny new glow of this will wear off after a while, but honestly, it can never be as bad as various job-related shit over the last year. General wins really.

I'm tired, but I'm happy. It's nice to not feel dread when you have to go to work. It's great for it not have to be an effort to even make it through the day.

Yes.

I am listening to City And Colour and I am smiling.

Reader

Yay :)

I like this.

Rocks in Shoes

I'm feeling pretty torn about the election. Whilst I've made my ultimate decision to vote Lib Dem, I feel like I'm watching Barack Obama in the primaries again, after Nick Clegg's triumph in the debate last night. He has so much promise, and so does the party. But realistically, no one can be bothered to vote for them. I suppose it's the ever-sad fact about a third party - they are just that, and therefore they are deemed irrelevant. Maybe if they had longer than 3 weeks to try and make some headway, they'd have more of a chance. In the same way that many people in this country need to be convinced that they should vote, many people need to realise that it doesn't always have to be Labour or Conservative.

We need the Lib Dems for electoral reform. My vote for them won't count, because I live in a staunchly Tory area. This is definitely one of my bitterest feelings about how the election will turn out, because we need reform, and no one will be willing to bring that about so completely as the Lib Dems.

**

In other news, times are changing, and I'm now waiting on a phone call. I have reason to be optimistic, but not so optimistic that I could end up seriously disappointed.

Last week I felt guilty at the prospect of leaving, and now, I just don't. I'm glad the discontent kicked in about the right time, I was starting to feel complacent.

A spider started making a web in one of my shoes.

I'm really tired.

I used to have so much to say all the time, and now it's just stopped. Strange.

bai.x.

Further North

I spent the weekend in Carlisle, and for a little while I was in Scotland for my aunt's wedding.

On the way home we went 'the scenic route' through the Lake District. It's a place that is synonymous to me with my childhood. And I realised I haven't actually been there in about 11 years. I didn't recognise any of the places we drove around, but I viewed everything with familiarity, as though any second all the memories I thought I had of these places would return. But they didn't.

It is the most beautiful place. I want to create new memories there. A lot of the time I wish I was in another country, where things are prettier and better. But going there again after so long, I realise England has more to offer me. I want to go there soon, to replace the aching nostalgia.

So Long

I like the sun. It's almost like it's summer. Kind of.

Almost finished the West Wing. Only 3 episodes left. After that I don't know what I'll do. I watched the first episode again the other day, and almost started watching the whole thing over again before I'd even finished it.

Seems like I'll have a lot more time on my hands, as it's been my method of procrastination for the last 3 months. Maybe I'll just try and get out of bad procrastinating habits again.

No luck finding a job. I guess I'll keep looking and hoping.

Feel kind of bad that I haven't kept more up to date with all this. I don't know what I've been doing. Apart from visiting people and working, there doesn't seem to be a lot else, but I just haven't been sitting down and thinking about writing anything on here. So yeah. Ho hum.

I had the first BBQ of the year with Chris and his friends on Friday. It was really good.

Driving up to Gretna Green at the end of this week to go to my aunt's wedding. This will be the first wedding I've been to that I can actually remember. Strange. At least I get to go to Scotland for it.

Going to sleep now. Super tired because I did gardening for about 3-4 hours today. Sleeeeep.

bai.x.

Driving Sideways

Back from Oxford.

I like all these mini trips I'm taking to places. It makes me much more relaxed.

Today I applied for a job at the Tate. I am nervous. I know I won't get it. But there's no harm in trying.

Almost at the end of season 4 of the West Wing. I am excited to see the season finale. Wheeeee.

Progressing well with my course. It's all good.

All I really need to do right now is to spend less money.

Giving up chocolate for Lent. This will be one of the most difficult things ever.

bai.x.

Imitation of Life

If I achieve nothing else this year, I can at least be content that I read more than I did 12 months ago.

This morning I woke up after having a very strange dream about being on holiday in America and taking a day trip to Australia, and realised there was a chip in the paint on my wall that I hadn't noticed before. I'm sure it was in a different place yesterday.

It's been a while I know. But not much has been happening. I've been here and there, Sheffield and France, Oxford next weekend. Plenty of winter blues. Waiting for spring to properly arrive. Because somehow spring always has a certain promise about it, like suddenly it will bring lots of stuff that you couldn't do when it was winter.

The snowdrops are growing, so it must be coming pretty soon.

My room is filled with stacks of books. One day I will have a room that has walls lined with CDs and books. I decided I'd quite like to do a masters in Asian art. I was kind of disappointed to find that the Courtauld Institute only do European/American art. Bla. I don't even know when I'd do a masters anyway.

I need to do some work. I'll try to keep up.

bai.x.